How to Test if You’re a Good Partner (or the other kind)

What are you like to be with?” I asked my client.
“A bit of a bitch really,” she said, after considerable thought. “Always tired, grumpy, nagging, on my phone too much.”

She’d come along for some advice on what to do about her 15-year marriage which she said was on a fast track to the wrecker’s yard — unless something changed. Should I stay or should I go? had become her theme song, even though she didn’t really want to separate.
It was a fair question, given her unhappiness — but it wasn’t the first one she should be asking. She and her partner should each be considering their own roles in the mess they had gotten into — and what each of them could do to change it.
But, when a relationship sours, it’s hard to think clearly, let alone know how to turn things around.

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